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she...had a long, emotional day

2011-05-17T08:31:00.001-05:00

She
finally
sat down
alone.

Her home was
quiet.
Even the
television
made no
noise.

She had missed
this-
and
that.
But,
she had accomplished
the other.
And it was easier
than
she thought.

It lessened
the
'pain'
of what
she had missed.

And she drank a beer
or two
with her friend.
And they laughed.

Then reality kicked back in.

She went home.
The friend stayed.

The long, emotional day
continues for
some.

Wednesday

2010-06-16T07:58:00.001-05:00

Did he say
'juice tornado'?

And, they will know
they will miss
mat time...
if I tell them the

possibility

of
swimming.

But right now it's
cold oatmeal.
(Got a microwave?)
and
some form of
food
for them
and

The Humane Society.

grr

2009-12-30T15:16:00.000-06:00

OK.
How do I stop the spamming?!

she needs footing

2009-08-31T07:35:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time she was able to manage her time.
Her online friends.
And her 'IRL' friends.
Once upon a time the two
sets
of friends
intermingled.

Now, only her mind is
intermingled.

Do you know how to
ground
her?
She needs footing.

she...the night before tomorrow

2009-02-26T19:33:00.002-06:00

Blog post
wants some toast?-
Carl is in an ape-man suit.
No worries,
he is the only ape-man up here.

Pictures.
has pictures of you
from the other night.
And you look
MARVELOUS
Dahling!!

That one wants
chocolate milk.
That one wants rest.
That one is a
too-small
Dash.

She just wants to
get her
'stupid'
on.

she...Ja 22

2009-01-22T16:46:00.001-06:00

Sometimes she misses seeing you.
And...
having you see her.
She has even taken a few photos.
But
she deleted them.
Do you want to see
any
of her?

With the last drop of wine,
she swallowed a pill.
Like Alice:
One makes you big;
and one makes you small.
Time will tell her, soon enough,
which direction she is headed.

The soothing bubbling
of the aquarium
reminds her that
the silence will only last
so
long.

And that will be fine.

grr!

2009-01-18T16:33:00.000-06:00

Have I been so out of the effing blog loop that I can no longer even DELETE a mistake of 'posting' something twice...??
Sheesh!

she...irritated

2009-01-17T17:47:00.002-06:00

"Why do you send those types of 'pics'?"
She had a twist tie in her mouth.
Half in her mouth.

"Hey!"
She kicked the sofa to get his attention.
"Why do you, huh? I know that is what you are doing with your mobile phone. I know you are taking 'pics' and then sending them to people. Why?"

She repeated this question.
Over and over.

In a sing-song voice.

She sounded like a popcorn kernel
that went down the
garbage disposal.

"Why? Why? Why?"
One last,
final,
hard kick.
She moved the sofa.
Jarred his
comfortable
sitting position.

"Why don't you ever fucking send them to me?"

she...irritated

2009-01-17T17:47:00.000-06:00

Phonography HNT

2008-12-10T16:37:00.004-06:00

- Britney Spears Lyrics

she on a September Tuesday

2008-12-08T16:59:00.000-06:00

“It’s called progress,” she said.
“PROG-GRESS!”

She emphasized the word with a snarky tone.
And a flip of her hair.
With her arm extended she held her hand up and spread her fingers. She admired the silver and gold rings that did not adorn her.

“I didn’t mind her being here,” she spoke very softly, “in fact, I enjoyed it. You know?” A reminiscent giggle escaped. Before she had a chance to put her emotions in check. “I can’t believe the first thing I did, before even shutting all the windows, was to start a load of laundry. Do you believe that?”

she...on a Friday

2008-10-15T16:36:00.001-05:00

Early
hoped for
postponement
tried to
use
self-induced
agoraphobia.

3 sisters
5 cousins
50mg
of
(Viagra?)
only-not.
And not
expired July '06.
Relaxing.
Calm.
'Cry to Me'
dancing.

Hours later
different location.
Door chained.
Remain chained for
22 hours.
She was
intoxicated.
On
1, 2...
how many?-
substances.
She
does not
know

moderation.

she...snapping

2008-09-15T15:13:00.001-05:00

Funny thing is I hear the snapping and I want to jump up.
Like Pavlov's dog.
But instead, I think about the beer I had a bitch of a time opening
and I think about the story with the bears and the little girl.
O I wonder about the snapping.
And I will jump.
Eventually.
I wonder if there are surveillance cameras.
I wonder if I ask
will that be setting myself up for something I can't handle?

she had coffee

2008-09-15T14:04:00.002-05:00

And he said, "It isn't polite to stare."
And she told him, "You stared right back!"
And he said, "I had to assert my dominance."

Or something like that.
It was over an hour. Even over 2 hours.
Could have been longer.
But there was a mess up with the alphabet.

He talked.
Much more than he thought he would.
His eyes
crinkled
a bit at the corners
when he smiled.

He smiled
a lot.

She wanted to touch his face.
But steeled for his hand.

The best part was when
a loose strand of hair
stuck in the corner of
her mouth.

she...September 10

2008-09-11T17:02:00.000-05:00

She was in the kitchen. Not a Betty Crocker kitchen; but a real kitchen. Probably more than 6 cabinets. Probably. And she stomped around making ‘monster’ noises while dragging the one foot that didn’t wear a house shoe. A house shoe. Y’know?-a slipper, basically, that has an ‘outside friendly’ sole. She heard the voice right behind her. Right next to her ear. In her ear. Quiet and fast. She forgot the words as soon as they had been spoken. Had the voice come from another person it would have sent chills down her spine. She was suddenly very aware. Of not being alone. She tried to recall the words. And her memory failed her. Yet the voice...the voice she heard may have been several voices speaking in unison. She stood a moment longer. Decided she would not be afraid. The night continued as usual.

She...September 7th

2008-09-07T17:52:00.002-05:00

"What happened after that?" He asked.

She twisted a strand of hair around her finger, bit her lower look
averted her eyes (O Lord!)
then said,
"What the fuck do you want me to tell you? What? That I probably lost my fucking mind and that this one lost her mind and that one did...?"

She sat on her knees, rocked back a bit; filled with some kind of
repressed?-anger?
Only, not repressed because it is always there.

"Do you want to hear about the sex or the drugs first? Because there was no fucking rock and roll! We had no fucking electricity! What do you want to hear?-that I managed to keep my fucking nervous breakdown in check while everyone else fucking fell apart around me?" She paused. Thinking. Her mind drifted and she lost her train of thought.

He had a shocked expression that he tried damn hard to conceal. Didn't work.

"Did you want some endamame?" She had left the spit of rage in the previous minute. The minute that will never happen again.

"Yes," he answered, "I would."

An answer

2008-09-07T17:33:00.000-05:00

Someone asked, "Where do you live?"
and she answered, "I live within the 'Cone of Error'."

Gustav

2008-09-06T15:00:00.004-05:00

The little chunk of sidewalk is where Things 1 and 2 catch the school bus.

(Thank you)
for
the well wishes.

Grr.
Lots of wind. Not too much rain.
Loss of power. Only 4 days this time.
Another storm out there, too.

My love to:
This dude and this chick.
Gustav liked you more.

2008-08-31T07:42:00.001-05:00

Hurricane Gustav bearing down on on Louisiana...

f r i d a y

2008-07-25T12:38:00.003-05:00

It is a
hot as eff
I need to lower the a/c
just another
(Manic...)
nope-
Friday
in (the park?)
no!
July!
Hot town...
(summer in the...)
Yup.
And what have
I done?
Accomplished?
Hmmm.
I have
read-
a lot.
And
I have taken on
several (new)
and weird
(The transformation is almost complete!)
responsibilities.
Weird ones.
Things 1 and 2
are
well-and
happy.
I have been told.
I vacuumed.

Love me some ChickyBabe!!

2008-07-24T16:58:00.004-05:00

O happy daay!! (click the link/title to see CB's pics)

...4th of July, 2008

2008-07-04T07:28:00.002-05:00

I cannot be held back by
thumb tacks
and odd things
I have collected and
want to display.
I cannot be held back by
small people
who look like me
who want to tape
drawings
and such
to the walls.
I cannot be worried about
too many holes in the wall
and I cannot worry about the hole I drilled
in a wooden door.
And I cannot get the fucking
Norton Antivirus
completely off my computer.
And I have probably spent way too much time and energy
attempting to do so!
And I can't figure out why
itunes decides which songs it wants to keep
and which it wants to delete.
And I can't get all my pics on disc
because I am lazy.
And I have closed and opened
a yahoo account so many times
it is amazing my computer doesn't flip out!
And why do I need norton antivirus?
And can you believe I have to bring the
condiments.
Because I DON'T get food stamps.
O, I am sure
we qualify,
but it is not something
(the husband)
wants to do.
And the other two
do get
food stamps.
This is
frustrating.
And I have been awake too long.
And the bottom of my feet...
not the 'ball'
of my foot,
rather the 'heel'
hurts.
Because I walk.
And I step too hard?
And I am reading a good book.
I don't know how it will end;
but I think a fucked up ending like everyone kind of turning into
Invasion of the Body Snatchers type of people-
I think that kind of ending could be FUN!!

P.S. Is there a 4th of July in France?

she...on a Sunday

2008-06-29T20:27:00.000-05:00

She wants you to know that music is the end all be all.
Today, at any rate.

She listens to the words
written by others.
Words put to
music.

She listens to this
prose
(of sorts)-
and sometimes
identifies.

And sometimes she
laughs
because
she identifies.

She heard a song earlier today.

The lyrics;
their meaning;
is far from
obscure.

They are
"in your face" and
obvious and
almost comical and yet,
so incredibly blatantly
s e x u a l
!

Do you know what she did?
She listened to the song
twice.
All the way through.

The overtly erotic nature of the song...

Smiling.
Almost laughing.
And wanting to share the song...
with
(him).

Do you know Ed or Brad?

2008-06-27T16:16:00.003-05:00

after I picked up the phone for the eleven-millionth time...AFTER I picked it up is when I realized I had been dialing the wrong number. I mean, the number was a correct number. It was A correct number.
Do you understand what I am trying to say?
I was calling the wrong effing person!
I just didn't flippin' know it.

So then I put a piece of pork in the oven and forgot to turn the oven on. Doesn't cook very well that way.
But, no worries, because when Ed and Brad get here later the food will either BE cooked or Ed can slide up to me and in that smooth voice of his, or is it Brad's?-and he can say:
"Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions."

2008-06-20T17:02:00.001-05:00

2008-06-17T11:56:00.002-05:00

Stepping from the
shower
and
hair dripping.
Wet.
See the corner?
Of the counter?
See the sharp corner?
If I
flip
my head
down
will I
possibly
hit myself on
the corner?
Of the counter?
I stand there a moment.
Longer.
Wondering.
Pondering, no less.
I turn to the right
and...
hair wrapped.

2008-06-13T10:44:00.002-05:00

- Tom Waits Lyrics

2008-06-05T19:36:00.002-05:00

Arctic Monkeys Lyrics
Dancing Shoes Lyrics

2008-06-03T18:47:00.000-05:00

I deleted her blogs.
And
I deleted her photos.
And
I tore up her notebooks.

I deleted her writings.
I deleted her
(received)
text messages.
I deleted her
(sent)
text messages.

I deleted as much as I was able to;
in the 45 minutes she left me alone.

And then she came back.
And I deleted the cache.
And I deleted the
browsing history.
And I wonder when she will notice.

2008-05-31T18:32:00.001-05:00

With the windows open, she could feel a slight cross breeze.
It wasn't cool.
Rather warm.
The touch on her naked skin was another's fingers. Tracing.
Learning.
She writhed.
Her only pain was an unfulfilled yearning.
If only his hands were on her and not the wind.

she...off kilter

2008-05-29T10:53:00.003-05:00

She woke.
She dressed.
She left.

She lives with 3.

She spoke to no one.
She got on the interstate.
She broke down.
She knew it was the transmission.
She didn't want to call for help.

This was the most peace she had felt in days.

she...returns

2008-05-28T21:46:00.001-05:00

Which butterfly wings do you prefer?

MACHINES OF LOVING GRACE lyrics

HEAR the song...