she...had a long, emotional day
She
finally
sat down
alone.
Her home was
quiet.
Even the
television
made no
noise.
She had missed
this-
and
that.
But,
she had accomplished
the other.
And it was easier
than
she thought.
It lessened
the
'pain'
of what
she had missed.
And she drank a beer
or two
with her friend.
And they laughed.
Then reality kicked back in.
She went home.
The friend stayed.
The long, emotional day
continues for
some.
finally
sat down
alone.
Her home was
quiet.
Even the
television
made no
noise.
She had missed
this-
and
that.
But,
she had accomplished
the other.
And it was easier
than
she thought.
It lessened
the
'pain'
of what
she had missed.
And she drank a beer
or two
with her friend.
And they laughed.
Then reality kicked back in.
She went home.
The friend stayed.
The long, emotional day
continues for
some.
Wednesday
Did he say
'juice tornado'?
And, they will know
they will miss
mat time...
if I tell them the
possibility
of
swimming.
But right now it's
cold oatmeal.
(Got a microwave?)
and
some form of
food
for them
and
The Humane Society.
'juice tornado'?
And, they will know
they will miss
mat time...
if I tell them the
possibility
of
swimming.
But right now it's
cold oatmeal.
(Got a microwave?)
and
some form of
food
for them
and
The Humane Society.
she needs footing
Once upon a time she was able to manage her time.
Her online friends.
And her 'IRL' friends.
Once upon a time the two
sets
of friends
intermingled.
Now, only her mind is
intermingled.
Do you know how to
ground
her?
She needs footing.
Her online friends.
And her 'IRL' friends.
Once upon a time the two
sets
of friends
intermingled.
Now, only her mind is
intermingled.
Do you know how to
ground
her?
She needs footing.
she...the night before tomorrow
Blog post
wants some toast?-
Carl is in an ape-man suit.
No worries,
he is the only ape-man up here.
Pictures.
has pictures of you
from the other night.
And you look
MARVELOUS
Dahling!!
That one wants
chocolate milk.
That one wants rest.
That one is a
too-small
Dash.
She just wants to
get her
'stupid'
on.
wants some toast?-
Carl is in an ape-man suit.
No worries,
he is the only ape-man up here.
Pictures.
has pictures of you
from the other night.
And you look
MARVELOUS
Dahling!!
That one wants
chocolate milk.
That one wants rest.
That one is a
too-small
Dash.
She just wants to
get her
'stupid'
on.
she...Ja 22
Sometimes she misses seeing you.
And...
having you see her.
She has even taken a few photos.
But
she deleted them.
Do you want to see
any
of her?
With the last drop of wine,
she swallowed a pill.
Like Alice:
One makes you big;
and one makes you small.
Time will tell her, soon enough,
which direction she is headed.
The soothing bubbling
of the aquarium
reminds her that
the silence will only last
so
long.
And that will be fine.
And...
having you see her.
She has even taken a few photos.
But
she deleted them.
Do you want to see
any
of her?
With the last drop of wine,
she swallowed a pill.
Like Alice:
One makes you big;
and one makes you small.
Time will tell her, soon enough,
which direction she is headed.
The soothing bubbling
of the aquarium
reminds her that
the silence will only last
so
long.
And that will be fine.
grr!
Have I been so out of the effing blog loop that I can no longer even DELETE a mistake of 'posting' something twice...??
Sheesh!
Sheesh!
she...irritated
"Why do you send those types of 'pics'?"
She had a twist tie in her mouth.
Half in her mouth.
"Hey!"
She kicked the sofa to get his attention.
"Why do you, huh? I know that is what you are doing with your mobile phone. I know you are taking 'pics' and then sending them to people. Why?"
She repeated this question.
Over and over.
In a sing-song voice.
She sounded like a popcorn kernel
that went down the
garbage disposal.
"Why? Why? Why?"
One last,
final,
hard kick.
She moved the sofa.
Jarred his
comfortable
sitting position.
"Why don't you ever fucking send them to me?"
She had a twist tie in her mouth.
Half in her mouth.
"Hey!"
She kicked the sofa to get his attention.
"Why do you, huh? I know that is what you are doing with your mobile phone. I know you are taking 'pics' and then sending them to people. Why?"
She repeated this question.
Over and over.
In a sing-song voice.
She sounded like a popcorn kernel
that went down the
garbage disposal.
"Why? Why? Why?"
One last,
final,
hard kick.
She moved the sofa.
Jarred his
comfortable
sitting position.
"Why don't you ever fucking send them to me?"
she...irritated
"Why do you send those types of 'pics'?"
She had a twist tie in her mouth.
Half in her mouth.
"Hey!"
She kicked the sofa to get his attention.
"Why do you, huh? I know that is what you are doing with your mobile phone. I know you are taking 'pics' and then sending them to people. Why?"
She repeated this question.
Over and over.
In a sing-song voice.
She sounded like a popcorn kernel
that went down the
garbage disposal.
"Why? Why? Why?"
One last,
final,
hard kick.
She moved the sofa.
Jarred his
comfortable
sitting position.
"Why don't you ever fucking send them to me?"
She had a twist tie in her mouth.
Half in her mouth.
"Hey!"
She kicked the sofa to get his attention.
"Why do you, huh? I know that is what you are doing with your mobile phone. I know you are taking 'pics' and then sending them to people. Why?"
She repeated this question.
Over and over.
In a sing-song voice.
She sounded like a popcorn kernel
that went down the
garbage disposal.
"Why? Why? Why?"
One last,
final,
hard kick.
She moved the sofa.
Jarred his
comfortable
sitting position.
"Why don't you ever fucking send them to me?"
she on a September Tuesday
“It’s called progress,” she said.
“PROG-GRESS!”
She emphasized the word with a snarky tone.
And a flip of her hair.
With her arm extended she held her hand up and spread her fingers. She admired the silver and gold rings that did not adorn her.
“I didn’t mind her being here,” she spoke very softly, “in fact, I enjoyed it. You know?” A reminiscent giggle escaped. Before she had a chance to put her emotions in check. “I can’t believe the first thing I did, before even shutting all the windows, was to start a load of laundry. Do you believe that?”
“PROG-GRESS!”
She emphasized the word with a snarky tone.
And a flip of her hair.
With her arm extended she held her hand up and spread her fingers. She admired the silver and gold rings that did not adorn her.
“I didn’t mind her being here,” she spoke very softly, “in fact, I enjoyed it. You know?” A reminiscent giggle escaped. Before she had a chance to put her emotions in check. “I can’t believe the first thing I did, before even shutting all the windows, was to start a load of laundry. Do you believe that?”
she...on a Friday
Early
hoped for
postponement
tried to
use
self-induced
agoraphobia.
3 sisters
5 cousins
50mg
of
(Viagra?)
only-not.
And not
expired July '06.
Relaxing.
Calm.
'Cry to Me'
dancing.
Hours later
different location.
Door chained.
Remain chained for
22 hours.
She was
intoxicated.
On
1, 2...
how many?-
substances.
She
does not
know
moderation.
hoped for
postponement
tried to
use
self-induced
agoraphobia.
3 sisters
5 cousins
50mg
of
(Viagra?)
only-not.
And not
expired July '06.
Relaxing.
Calm.
'Cry to Me'
dancing.
Hours later
different location.
Door chained.
Remain chained for
22 hours.
She was
intoxicated.
On
1, 2...
how many?-
substances.
She
does not
know
moderation.
she...snapping
Funny thing is I hear the snapping and I want to jump up.
Like Pavlov's dog.
But instead, I think about the beer I had a bitch of a time opening
and I think about the story with the bears and the little girl.
O I wonder about the snapping.
And I will jump.
Eventually.
I wonder if there are surveillance cameras.
I wonder if I ask
will that be setting myself up for something I can't handle?
Like Pavlov's dog.
But instead, I think about the beer I had a bitch of a time opening
and I think about the story with the bears and the little girl.
O I wonder about the snapping.
And I will jump.
Eventually.
I wonder if there are surveillance cameras.
I wonder if I ask
will that be setting myself up for something I can't handle?
she had coffee
And he said, "It isn't polite to stare."
And she told him, "You stared right back!"
And he said, "I had to assert my dominance."
Or something like that.
It was over an hour. Even over 2 hours.
Could have been longer.
But there was a mess up with the alphabet.
He talked.
Much more than he thought he would.
His eyes
crinkled
a bit at the corners
when he smiled.
He smiled
a lot.
She wanted to touch his face.
But steeled for his hand.
The best part was when
a loose strand of hair
stuck in the corner of
her mouth.
she...September 10
She was in the kitchen. Not a Betty Crocker kitchen; but a real kitchen. Probably more than 6 cabinets. Probably. And she stomped around making ‘monster’ noises while dragging the one foot that didn’t wear a house shoe. A house shoe. Y’know?-a slipper, basically, that has an ‘outside friendly’ sole. She heard the voice right behind her. Right next to her ear. In her ear. Quiet and fast. She forgot the words as soon as they had been spoken. Had the voice come from another person it would have sent chills down her spine. She was suddenly very aware. Of not being alone. She tried to recall the words. And her memory failed her. Yet the voice...the voice she heard may have been several voices speaking in unison. She stood a moment longer. Decided she would not be afraid. The night continued as usual.
She...September 7th
"What happened after that?" He asked.
She twisted a strand of hair around her finger, bit her lower look
averted her eyes (O Lord!)
then said,
"What the fuck do you want me to tell you? What? That I probably lost my fucking mind and that this one lost her mind and that one did...?"
She sat on her knees, rocked back a bit; filled with some kind of
repressed?-anger?
Only, not repressed because it is always there.
"Do you want to hear about the sex or the drugs first? Because there was no fucking rock and roll! We had no fucking electricity! What do you want to hear?-that I managed to keep my fucking nervous breakdown in check while everyone else fucking fell apart around me?" She paused. Thinking. Her mind drifted and she lost her train of thought.
He had a shocked expression that he tried damn hard to conceal. Didn't work.
"Did you want some endamame?" She had left the spit of rage in the previous minute. The minute that will never happen again.
"Yes," he answered, "I would."
Gustav
The little chunk of sidewalk is where Things 1 and 2 catch the school bus.
(Thank you)
for
the well wishes.
Grr.
Lots of wind. Not too much rain.
Loss of power. Only 4 days this time.
Another storm out there, too.
My love to:
This dude and this chick.
Gustav liked you more.
(Thank you)
for
the well wishes.
Grr.
Lots of wind. Not too much rain.
Loss of power. Only 4 days this time.
Another storm out there, too.
My love to:
This dude and this chick.
Gustav liked you more.
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